in late january, seattle had a snow and ice storm that lasted for days. when i finally bundled up to go outside for a walk, i brought my hasselblad. shooting with slide film and freezing fingers, i cross-processed to make the cyans come out.

but something else came out too: my sweet old film back's signature left-sided light leak. i haven't fixed it yet. maybe i don't have the heart to...i sort of love the way it seeps "unwanted" light onto the film.

i'm left-handed, too. maybe the film back is trying to tell me something.

"forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything. that's how the light gets in."

happy valentine's day!

-laura

i met my newest neighbor today. she is a baby. a corgi named olive. and she stole my heart for a beautiful moment.

the mountains have been on fire all week long

smoke streaks the clear september evening sky as the sun slips - a hot red ball -
into its path

inside i am burning too
kali, the goddess of destruction, is
having her way with that forest in the distance
and with my own essence, with my own heart.
old growth turns to cinder and smoke

"fuego mi espiritu"
i lit this fire.

smoke rises higher on my crazy faith
but the coward inside craves escape. water.
what is burning? what will grow from these ashes?

the mountains have been on fire all week long

this morning is september. a powerful wave that has been circling the ocean of my heart since last september (and the september before that, and the september before that, and the september before that, and so on) arrives again. the day hits me in a way that the first of no other month does. why is this?

this year is the same, but different. i am rousing my windhorse today and riding her, riding her, riding her. she has a mane that tickles my face and mingles with my tears as she gallops fearlessly through the wave that is crashing, again, on this shore.

i saw a crow fly away today. happy to sink softly into september.

saturday morning in aug-tober (what we call august here in seattle). i went for a walk to notice color.